Silver Linings

Patrick has been home for 3 weeks - dramatically increasing our food budget and wreaking havoc with my daily routines.  I've loved (almost) every minute.  When we sent him off last February, I struggled with the prospect of not seeing him for 2 years, but we talked on the phone a lot, and I got increasingly used to the idea.  When he was attacked, I had my own version of PTSD that left me with little sleep and on an emotional roller coaster. 

Having him sent home was not what we would ever say we wanted - I wanted his Peace Corps experience to be "life-changing" and a wonderful jump-start to his career in disaster relief.  But seeing him, and talking, and watching dumb TV shows, and working out, and cooking dinners - these were the cure for my PTSD as much as they were the cure for his. 

We'll have to send him off again soon, and it will be just as hard as the first time.  Maybe harder, because we know the dangers and we're now aware of his ambivalence.  It's not a perfect job, or a perfect setting.  He'll struggle and he'll be lonely. And he'll learn from it all - life-changing and sometimes painful lessons.

The silver linings have been wonderful.  From a violent attack, we got - so far - three weeks of Patrick's time, a new appreciation for what he's doing and his goals, and a chance to hang out.  Patrick told me that he has a whole new perspective on the importance of his relationships with friends and family.  He no longer takes them for granted.  It will make it hard for him to go back, facing another 18 months away from the people he loves.  Sigh.  Hard for us, too.